Army Date is Approaching...

Usually I wouldn't keep track of of dates. But for the past few weeks, I couldn't stop myself from looking at the date on the top-right corner of my macbook. For each day that passes by, I get more anxious about going to the army (d-day: 08/05/08). I try not to think about it but the more anxious I get the more I think about it. It's a vicious cycle.

Not that I actually want to go but I at least thought I would be okay about going to the army. It's something that all Korean boys need to do, kind of like a rite of passage. Whether I like it or not, I have to go. And since I have no choice, I've been trying my best to shift my hopeless attitude. If I am going to the army, I might as well make the best out of it. However, that is easier said than done.

I feel like my freedom is being taken away temporarily. For twenty-two months in the military I will be doing things that I probably won't have any passion for and follow orders that does not come from me but from my military superiors. The thought of me not being allowed to be me in the military makes it a whole lot depressing. Maybe I'm thinking too much about the army. Maybe this will be an opportunity for me to really grow and get some sort of a perspective in my life. I hope that is the case.

All I know for now is that my mind is already at June 2010 (the month that I get out of the army) but my physical body is stuck here at the present moment. My task now is to drag that mind back to the present so that I can live life as it is in the present and not be blinded by constantly thinking about the future.