hoon.in.seoul.

"two different tears" - wondergirls

2010-05-16T03:25:00.001-07:00

"한숨이 늘었어" - epitone project

2010-05-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

a special day...

2010-05-14T16:01:00.001-07:00

May 14th 2010. On a Friday night, in a small town in Hwa-Cheon county, amongst the Korean mountains, and inside a glass-walled classroom on the pier, twelve students and their parents stood around an English teacher, singing him a happy Teacher's day. The teacher stood still, looking at the candles slowly melting on the strawberry cream cake. For the teacher, those candles felt like the nearing of an end. The end of a small chapter in his life. Now that he thinks about the past two years, those years were as short as the candles burning right in front of him. During those times, he had the chance to meet the kind-hearted people of Hwa-Cheon. Those people taught him the meaning of sharing.

The teacher, whose life before Hwa-Cheon was all about devoting to himself, experienced life is much more wholesome by giving. In return, he has gained so much from those students.

The candles haven't burned out yet. There's still some time left. He decides to make the most out of the time he has with the students of Hwa-Cheon.

Thank you for giving me the chance to teach ya'll.

"walk" - sorri

2010-04-30T16:09:00.001-07:00

"길상사에서" - siwa

2010-04-23T16:52:00.001-07:00

랄랄라 - siwa

2010-04-23T16:50:00.001-07:00

"paradise circus" - massive attack

2010-04-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

"I Need Your Love" - ji-hyung lee

2010-04-23T16:30:00.001-07:00

etienne de crecy live at matter, london

2010-04-16T20:59:00.001-07:00

noise

2010-04-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been constantly thinking about what I should do after getting out of the army. Well, lets see... I'll spend june & july in Seoul. Maybe I'll travel to China and Europe for a week or two. I'll also probably work as an intern in a Korean media firm and learn about the basics of webdesign via tutorials. Then I'll pack my bags and head to NewYorkCity. I will continue with my film&tv major and also declare journalism as my second major. I'll spend two more years in NYU and then what? I have so many things I want to do but when it comes to deciding what to do, the what-i-want-to do factor becomes smaller. I start thinking of what am I good at, what kind of work fits me? Should I or should I not, how much money am I gonna get? As soon as I start thinking of all these things my head just fills up with noise. That's the point. They are just all NOISE - uneccessary and poisonous noise. I have no idea how my life will turn out. I've been stuck in alice-in-the-wonderland for so long that I've lost touch with what I should do with my life.

I talked about my situation with my Dad. He cleared it up for me in just five simple words. "Just do what you want." BAM! A very obvious answer but an answer that got rid of all the noise in my head. I'll just do what I want and see where it takes me from there. All I need to do is to completely devote my self into the task that is in front of me. Geez, what happened to the me that once enjoyed not knowing what will happen the next day. What happened to the guy that embraced going with the flow?

So, what do I want to do right now?

I just want to go back to school and pursue my passion in learning and being a student. We'll see where I go from there.

P.S.
All of the things that I want to do will completely depend on how the sunken South Korean Navy ship situation plays out.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/16/world/asia/16korea.html?ref=world.

"the end of a long time" - mate

2010-04-11T02:47:00.001-07:00

"again" - mate

2010-04-11T02:43:00.000-07:00

"spring, cherry blossoms, and you" - epitone project

2010-04-11T02:29:00.000-07:00

"manhattan skyline" - kings of convenience

2010-04-11T02:24:00.001-07:00

shrinking back to my former self

2010-04-06T02:31:00.000-07:00

There was time in my life when I was a very shy guy and had zero self-esteem. That period of my life was not necessarily the best days of my life. Eventually, I gathered up the courage to rise above all that. I armed myself with weapons and shields, which proved to be effective. Unfortunatley, being in the army made me lose all those armors and weapons. Either I lost tem or they've become outdated. During my four day break I realized I was armorless. That's what the army does to you. It takes away your ability to withstand the evil forces of society. I need to get them back. I don't want to be that small peron that I once used to be. Not only do I need to re-army myself, I need to look at the bigger picture of things. I've been stuck inside a tiny ass base surrounded by nothing but rivers and mountains. That's all I can see. The struggles and drama that happens here are of no worth or interest to me (i'm on my way back to the base and the guy next to me has just completed his service. lucky bastard.) Now, I have about 62 days in remaining. That's like 9 weeks. I want to get back to my life..

"beside you" - zitten

2010-03-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

"letter to arctic" - lucite tokki

2010-03-26T16:39:00.001-07:00

"forgotten stories" - lucite tokki

2010-03-26T16:37:00.000-07:00

"sleep talk" - ji-yoon park

2010-03-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

the return of my facebook and nyu email account!

2010-03-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

After 10 months of losing both my facebook and nyu email account, I finally gained access to both of them at ONCE!

here's the story(not that i think anyone would be interested)...

Some wierd message arrived at my facebook message inbox. I can't remember what was on the message but it was something about how I should send the message to other friends. Obviously, it was some sort of spam/virus message. But, stupid me, I replied to the message and later when I try to re-login to my facebook, the pass word has changed. All my precious network of friends and photos just gone! Naturally, I tried to reset my password by clicking on the 'forgot your password' link. Facebook stated that they have sent an email regarding my new reset password. I went to my NYU email account and, coincidentally, that was the day that my account has expired. I had no way of retrieving the new password for facebook and no way of reactivating my nyu account cuz I was on a Leave of Abscence. That was how I had to part from both facebook and nyu email.

Last night, my NYU account was reactivated(returning fall'10!). I reset my facebook password and BAM! I'm connected to the outside world again! :)

get me one of these...please?

2010-03-05T14:48:00.000-08:00

"Calling All Oil Sheiks: Here's the $160 Million Floating Island of Your Dreams" - FastCompany.com

"the state of the internet"

2010-03-03T03:10:00.000-08:00

JESS3 / The State of The Internet from Jesse Thomas on Vimeo.

cool infographic

"les miserables (part 1)" - lucid fall

2010-03-02T01:49:00.001-08:00

"les miserables (part 2)" - lucid fall

2010-03-02T01:44:00.000-08:00

lucid fall's new album - les miserables - is out! this korean artist's music triggers all kinds of emotion within me.

three months.

2010-02-28T23:37:00.000-08:00

today i've been promoted from corporal to seargeant. that's the highest you can get for being a soldier in the korean army. this also means that my time here is almost coming to an end. i have about 3 more months to go. boy, i am really happy about gettin out of here. right now, everything just feels wierd. i kept wating for d-day and d-day is nearing. i want to go back to school. i want to be with friends. i want to eat food(not army food).

'comforting sounds' - mew

2010-02-26T22:29:00.000-08:00

it's been a while since i've came across this danish band. it's a bit long but definitely worth it.

just beautiful.

2010-02-26T18:37:00.000-08:00

i'm busy

2010-02-22T00:52:00.000-08:00

it's fun to be busy with work you want to do. but it's awful to be busy with work you don't care about.

'I Was Human' (사람이었네) - Lucid Fall

2010-02-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

'the comeback' - starring lisa kudrow

2010-02-19T17:40:00.000-08:00

this is probably one of the best comedy series i've seen so far. you should watch.

Seoul is No. 3 Place to Go in 2010

2010-02-19T16:53:00.000-08:00

According to the NYTimes, Seoul is No. 3 place to go in 2010. Go Seoul!(never knew I had a love for this city... i think being in the middle of nowhere has a lot to do with the significant increase of admiration i have for Seoul now)

excerpt from the NYT article:

"Forget Tokyo. Design aficionados are now heading to Seoul.

They have been drawn by the Korean capital’s glammed-up cafes and restaurants, immaculate art galleries and monumental fashion palaces like the sprawling outpost of Milan’s 10 Corso Como and the widely noted Ann Demeulemeester store — an avant-garde Chia Pet covered in vegetation..."

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/travel/10places.html?pagewanted=1#

'all this time' - onerepublic

2010-02-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

so beautiful that it makes me cry T.T

JUST write (or type)

2010-02-17T03:26:00.000-08:00

it's always so hard for me to write something down. why is it so hard to just write. i'm even having trouble right now trying to think of the right words to convey my thoughts. I think a lot, probably too much. I'm not sure if those thoughts would interest people but those thoughts are endless and i want to have the set of skills to squeeze them out of my brain and onto this post. i need to just write. write without hesitation or any sort of self-consciousness. I just gotta free myself a bit, loosen up. However, it's easier said than done.

goodbye 2009... 2010 here i come!

2009-12-29T02:09:00.000-08:00

i became the ugly.

2009-12-19T02:35:00.000-08:00

You know how people say that the people around you, your surrounding environment is what makes you the way you are? For the past few weeks, I've actaully had the unfortunate opportunity to actually experience those words.

In the ROKA(Republic of Korea Army) the day begins at 6:30AM with the daily morning roll call. We all get up and fold our mattress - the majority of Korean soldiers still sleep on the floor - and roll up our sleeping bags and place them under our lockers. Then we change into our army uniform and line up outside at the military training ground for our morning roll call.

This is just a general picture of what occurs during the morning. For those of you who haven't been into the army. So anyways, there's this kid(I say kid because he's lower ranking) that I got along with. Normally, when I get along with someone and get close I have this tendency of taking care of them. That may mean doing their laundry for them or cleaning up their mess. I can't help it, I just like doing it. It makes me feel good.

For the past few months the kid's been waking up late for the morning roll call. So stupid me, always made sure he woke up at the right time by waking him up(when actually he should be waking up to the alarm bell). I didn't want him to be late for roll call. Again, for those of you who do not know much about the ROKA, a superior ranking guy waking up a lower ranking guy is a very abnormal thing to do. The lower your rank, the faster you need to wake up and prepare for the morning roll call. But me, I don't really care about the whole lower higher rank crap.

One day I woke the guy up, and he just threatened me to never wake him up again. Apparently he was offended by the way I woke him up - using my leg to gently tap his butt. It's not like I kicked him. All of a sudden, I was so mad. I'm not really a morning type of guy so it's not so easy for me to wake up but I do cuz I have to. Not only did I wake myself up but I put the effort to wake the kid up. He should actually be thankful but nooo, this jerk just got mad at me.

I wanted to just whoop his ass but I decided to stay calm and let off the heat by just ignoring him. Later in the day, I just wanted to go and tell him that it wasn't a big deal and just forget about what happened. Coincidentally, he came to me and said, "let's talk."

I was about to say, "hey, look let's just forget about what happened" but he interrupted by emphasizing what he said in the morning. At that point, the ass became the asshole. And all this hatred and anger got inside me. For the past few weeks, I was occupied with all this negativity. People around me, told me I looked different. Not only did I look different, but I also treated other people differently. The anger that really should have been directed towards the kid, got out of control and spread everywhere to innocent people.

I hated the fact that I became someone that I did not like. I became the ugly. I'm not usually an angry person but because of one asshole I became the asshole. That really sucked and I had to do something about it. So right now I'm in the process of cleaning all that hate out of my system and come back to the happy calm version of me.

'you are like a tree' - ji-yoon park

2009-12-19T02:34:00.000-08:00

awesome website.

2009-11-29T03:04:00.000-08:00

www.flypmedia.com

"FLYP uses an innovative palette of online tools and Web 2.0 user functionality to provide an engaging and enriching multimedia experience. We approach the Internet as a new medium—not just a new distribution channel—and we strive for a form of journalism that fulfills its possibilities on topics that range from politics and science to art and music.

Combining high-quality text, video, animation and design, FLYP goes against the here-today-gone-tomorrow tendency of journalism on the Internet. Our biweekly issues full of stories on topics ranging from politics and science to art and music are meant to be experienced, and not just read. Merging the best characteristics of print journalism with appealing interactivity, FLYP tries to offer up a dynamic magazine."

Check it out.

stars.

2009-11-25T01:53:00.000-08:00

I'm standing in the middle of the field. Brick buildings surround me. Tall cement walls circle the buildings. And around those walls, endless mountains hinder me from seeing what's beyond those hills.

I look up from the field. Thousands of stars are sprinkled across the sky. Each star somehow reminds me of the different memories and people that I've met. The stars are beautiful. The stars keep me going. The stars cheer me up.

"i miss you" - Mate

2009-11-24T02:12:00.001-08:00

"i love you" - Mate

2009-11-24T02:01:00.001-08:00

i seriously want to go back to school.

2009-11-22T01:40:00.000-08:00

The more I surf the internet the more I want to get out of here and do things for my life. So many things are happening in the outside world and I want to become a part of it. But, as always, I'm stuck in this stupid ghetto.

I just came across on a few NYU related youtube videos(clips from theU.com, nyu student reality tv show underthearch.tv, couple of vocal performances from N'Harmonics and Mass Transit). Naturally, I visited our campus newspaper website(nyunews.com), in which I was the deputy video desk editor. All these things reminded me of how I much I love school - meeting new people in classes, on the street, parties, through a friend of a friend, etc. So many possibilities and opportunities that I miss so dearly right now. Here, I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere where time doesn't exist.

I'm gettin all cynical again, but I can't help it. I crave for liveliness. I crave for energy, new thought, new ideas, new anything. The first thing that I'll do when I get back to NewYork is to sit on that bench by the Hudson River park and just watch the river and the lights of Jersey City. That image keeps recurring in my dream.

7 more months to go...

it's cold. and i miss people.

2009-11-14T00:26:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if it's the weather doing this but lately i've been missing a lot of people. Every night before I go to sleep I listen to the CD player(mp3 players are not allowed in the military) and just think about friends and family. The last time I did this routine was during the beggining of my service in the army. After a while, that intense feeling kinda faded away. But, for some reason, that feeling is back.

Although nothing much has changed in terms of missing them, I feel I've grown distant towards them. NewYork does not feel as close to my heart anymore. The friends, the love, the passion that I left behind seem to have drifted apart. I guess that's what time does to things. That distance makes me miss them even more.

The surrounding walls of this military base has grown onto me. My heart feels more settled here rather than the life that I left behind. How will I be able to catchup with my life? There will be so many things that I've missed out on. I guess if I think about it in a more hopeful way, there are so many things that I haven't done that I will get to do.

I wonder what my friends are up to. I miss them so much.

i'm back on the internet!

2009-11-13T20:46:00.001-08:00

for the past two months my base's access to the internet was shutdown due to a series of renovations/remodeling. anyways, i'm back ONLINE. for now, i need to catch up with what's been happenin in the world. i'll post later.

pecombo

2009-08-26T04:18:00.001-07:00

amazing band from japan.

the pains of being pure at heart - stay alive

2009-08-26T04:13:00.001-07:00

too much music..

2009-08-26T04:05:00.000-07:00

i think i'm posting too much music clips these days.. i can't help it. i'm in a music-y mood :)

will you still love me tommorow

2009-08-24T03:02:00.001-07:00

long goodbye.

2009-08-24T03:01:00.001-07:00

yay.

2009-08-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

its so damn hard to subscribe to a MAGAZINE

2009-08-19T04:32:00.000-07:00

i've been trying to subscribe to esquire, paper, gq but it's so hard to order through the net! when one thing finally works something else goes wrong with the transaction! :(

empty.

2009-08-15T21:23:00.001-07:00

i'm starting to feel that silent emptiness again. it comes and goes. now it's back. i don't quite know how to describe this feeling - not that i can really describe anything into words well. it feels like some drought has settled into a garden full of life. as each day passes the garden just keeps dryin until there is no signs of any life. i know that this will go away at some point so i'm not really worried. 10 more months left in the army. 10 more months of routine, labor, and dealing with wackos. just ten more months and i'm gettin my life back...

i just want to repeat my previous statement. "10 more months of routine, labor, and dealing with wackos..." Routine, labor, and dealing with wackos. Will life outside of the army be any different? As soon as I return to newyork i'll find my own routine, and i'll be laboring/working, and i'm pretty sure i'll meet a variety of wackos that I need to deal with. So how is that any different from my life in the army? Ofcourse, newyork is much more colorful compared to the life I have here but if we look at the bottom line, there's not much of a difference. Is there? Well, yes because if I had the choice between army life vs. new york life I would definitely choose newyork. There must be some difference that is making me lean towards the newyork life. But, I kind of find it funny that everyone's life may seem different but underneath the equation, the formula is the same.

promotion.

2009-07-31T21:38:00.000-07:00

There are four different ranks amongst Korean soldiers who serve in the military for two years. Within the span of two years we are promoted form private to seaman, seaman to corporal, and finally corporal to seargeant. Today, I become a corporal. One more rank to go and I'm out of here! Kids - notice how I address people below me as 'kids,' that's exactly how everyone refers to those who came to the army later than themselves - who are below me keep asking me how it feels to finally become a corporal. I thought about it, and told them I felt nothing. Yes, it feels nice to know that I've got this far but really that's all. A lot of other soldiers get really exicted becuase when they become a corporal they don't have to do as much slavework compared to those of privates and seamen. And they can finally start ordering around the 'kids.' How fun and nice right?

The only time I'd actually be happy is the day that I am done with the service. Moving up the rank doesn't mean much to me.

i miss....

2009-07-28T04:01:00.000-07:00

bye bye, dog friend. rest in peace.

2009-07-10T23:22:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wJ-VPqFzy0

I woke up early in the morning to prepare for my second break. I changed into my army uniform, put on my shiny army boots and off I went - to home. I felt so light as soon as I exited the main entrance, I guess it was the sense of freedom that rushed through my blood.

I headed towards the bus terminal to get a ticket heading for Seoul. As I was snaking through the small streets of Hwa-Cheon county, I noticed that my dog friend was behind me. He followed me all the way from the base. His tongue was stuck out and his white fur was covered with a bit of mud - I think he was playing in some puddle from the recent rain. He looked into my eyes and I looked into his, I think he could tell how happy I was to go back home.

The dog went ahead of me. Then I began to think that he was actually not following me but was on the way to do something, his own business. To be honest, it was kind of disappointing.

But then, the dog kept turning his head as he paced forward. I think he was checking whether I was still behind, or trying to say something like, "okay, just keep following me." Ofcourse, that's just what I think. I would never know what a dog has on his mind. Anyways, turns out that the dog was guiding me to the bus terminal. He took me to the ticket office and then to the actual bus that goes to Seoul.

He stopped in front of the bus. I gave him a look and waved him goodbye. I went inside the bus and sat down. There he was, still outside next to the bus looking at me through the window. As the bus started its engine and drove towards Seoul the dog began to walk back towards the base.

I wanted to get more close to this dog after I come back from my break. He's been around the base since I came to the army but I never had the chance to play with him. But all of this did not matter anymore. On a rainy Sunday midnight, the dog was hit by a car. I had the unfortunate chance to witness his dead body.

I'm sorry buddy. I never had the chance to say thank you for making me smile, for lighting up my heart. Thank you. Thank you.

Rest in peace, my dog friend.

my break from the army & friends.

2009-06-29T02:32:00.000-07:00

back from training.

2009-06-19T03:26:00.000-07:00

Today's date: June 19th 2009. Today is a special day. Special because I have exactly a year left to serve in the South Korean army. A year from now, in 2010, I will be out of here - free as a bird! I can't believe I've made it this far in the army. Before I enrolled to the army, I knew that I'm not fit for being a soldier. But here I am. Whether I want to admit it or not, I'm a soldier. My body, my mind has adapted to this new environment. It's amazing, the adaptability of human beings.

Just one more year... That's not too long, right?

As much as I do not enjoy my time here in the army, I do not regret coming here. This place opened up my eyes to a new world. A world that I heard about but never thought I would actually encounter. The Korean army is definitely a place that forces you to come out of your bubble and enter a whole new one. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this in my previous blog, anyways, the army, for me, feels like some sort of Alice in the Wonderland. It's a whole new world that exists as a parallel to actual society. The army society has its own set of rules and regulations - much stricter than the ones imposed in society.

I think when the times comes for me to leave, the whole army experience will feel like some sort of dream - a very long dream.

I just came back from training. This training is done every summer. It's one of the most intense army training that occurs every year. 40km march for 12 hours non-stop, endless push-ups and sit-ups, physical exercises in all sorts of variations. Hiking the mountains of Kang-Won Do (the northern mountainous region of South Korea). I'm glad that it's over now. I'm glad that I made it through the training. Throughout the training experience, I thought about a lot of things, especially people. People whom I miss, whom I love. Thinking of those people allowed me to carry through, to go through with the training. Of all the things that sucks about being in the army, the worst is not being able to be with the people you love. I miss ya'll so much.

happy 09/06/19!

end of break.

2009-05-24T10:23:00.001-07:00

Michaelengelo Antonioni - Caetano Veloso
i'm goin back to the army. no more break until... probably december. it was fun being me for more than a week. now i'm returning to a place where i need to suppress most of what makes me who i am.

my facebook's been FISHED/HACKED

2009-05-21T17:44:00.000-07:00

if you get any weird messages from me, it's NOT ME. i just had to go through a lot of things to get my facebook account back.

time is ticking...

2009-05-21T09:58:00.001-07:00

When I Saw You - Yeong-Shim Noh

My break is already coming to an end. It's friday. I have 3 more days left. Three days. Damn. At this moment, I would like to give time the middle finger.

did i get the chance to say thank you?

2009-05-20T01:31:00.001-07:00

Turn To Stone - Ingrid Michaelson

The best part of getting a break from the army is being around the people that you love and care about. You get to choose your people in society (i can totally bring up a couple of points to go against this statement but that will get in the way of writing this post).In the army you don't have a choice. Everything is decided for you. It doesn't matter whether you think person A is full of shit and person B is an ass. You live with person A, B, C, and so on for the remaining time that you have in the army.

Anyways, it's been great seeing my buddies. Last night, I had dinner with Minsoo, Jin, and Sung at this beautiful street with cafes and restaurants in Bundang(분당). The food was delicious, the wine was good, and most of all, the company was great. Being with them made me feel how thankful I am to have them as my best friends. These people are the reason I can wake up feeling that I am not alone in this world. That they will be there for me when I fall down and when I'm happy. I am proud to have such friends. There is nothing about them I want to change (well maybe just a tad haha jk). Knowing that these friends will still be there when I come back from the army gives me hope and the strength to fight. To keep charging forward.

Thank you, friends. :)

back home.

2009-05-18T12:03:00.000-07:00

i'm back home for my second break from the army. it's really good to be back home. good to see family and friends again. but, there is something about this break that doesn't make it feel like a break at all. this break doesn't mean i'm done with the army. this break, the only thing i'll get out of it is just a couple of days of good sleep and rest. this break doesn't do much to me right now. my life is still at a halt. i'm doing nothing that feels productive. i'm still stuck. i'm still a dog a on leash, a longer leash at the moment. this break is not a break.

may.

2009-05-02T23:24:00.000-07:00

MAY is the month that i left newyork for the army. it's been already a year since i left the big apple... yet instead of slowly forgetting about the city, i keep missing it even more. A year. What have I been doing for the past year? For some reason, I don't want to answer the question.

Blank.

2009-04-25T01:25:00.000-07:00

I wish I had the words to accurately describe what I am feeling right now. But the words just don't seem to come to my mind. I want to blame the army. Since the beggining of my military service my ability to speak and write english has been slowly deteriorating. Words, phrases, idioms, grammar, all of these things, seem to be vanishing each day. I was too busy cleaning, training, getting sweared at, and doing guard duties. For the past eight months, the level of my brain activity has been minimal. I'm scared. Am I becoming stupid or something? Is everything going to come back when I finish the military service?

Now that I have some time to do some reading, writing, studying, and typing, I plan to reactivate my slowing brain. I just skimmed through the nytimes, gawker, nyunews, nyulocal, perezhilton, etc. I've missed out on so much. The world's been moving by so fast. And me, I've been stuck in some Alice-in-the-Wonderland where nothing much happens except for nothingness? Am I making any sense? AhhhhH!

A New Chapter

2009-04-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

Recently, the chief commander of my Army base has requested me to become the official English teacher in the army. In addition, the chief also wanted me to teach English outside of the base. So I get to teach both soldiers and civilians in Hwa-Cheon (화천) - the name of the county where my army base is situated in. Not only did he want me to teach English, he also wanted me to work in the office and do administrative work.

I, ofcourse, said YES to the chief. Teaching English to those in need for FREE would become a meaningful experience for me during my service in the army. I mean, it's so much worthwhile compared to doing slave work (i.e. digging, picking weeds, flattening the sand court, moving heavy shit, etc). Also, me working in the office means that I will only be doing office-intern related work. Trust me, office-interny work is so much better than man labor.

I even moved to another room consisted of only 18 people - originally I was in a room with 30 people. In the Korean army, there is no such thing as a private room or space. Each room can take about 30-34 people. The facility of my army base is extremely poor. The base was built way before I was born, it was built about 66 years ago. Apparently, renovation or reconstruction of old facilities should be in progress but there seems to be a lot of delays. The new roomies that live in the 18 people room are so much better and less intimidating compared to my previous roomies. Also, I can read a book whenever I want (reading was forbidden in the previous room that I lived in, along with a lot of other RIDICULOUS restrictions). I can also use the computer as much as I want, unless I have work to do.

A new chapter in my army life. I feel extremely lucky and blessed about the changes in my role in the army base. Hells yea.

When Will I Ever Have the Time to Write on this Blog?

2009-04-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

yet again, it's been a while since i've written on this blog. i wish i could write more frequently but i can never find the time nor the permission to use a computer. for those of you who do not know much about life in the korean army, many unnecessary restrictions and privileges exist amongst ranks. amongst mandatory military service soldiers NOT officers, the ranks range from private to sergeant (private being the lowest rank). privates have the most restrictions, the most RIDICULOUS restrictions. a lot of things do not seem to make sense here in the army. sometimes it's very frustrating. the more i question this system, the more annoyed i get. now, i've come to the point where i see no point of questioning anymore. sometimes i wonder if i am being over-sensitive. maybe. or it could be just a culture thing. i still have yet to adjust to the korean cultural system. the whole confucious stuff.

i wish i could write more. but i have to go now... :(

You Can Have ONE Slice Only

2009-01-18T18:37:00.000-08:00

January 15th - January 19th was my first 'vacation' from the army. It was for five days. It was so nice being home and spending time with friends. But most of all it was so nice to see myself. I missed being me. I can't BE me in the army.

If i had to sum up this short vacation... How should I put it... Okay, imagine a cheesecake. It's the BEST cheesecake in the world. It's so good that it will give you an orgasm just by tasting it. Someone gives you the whole cheesecake but orders you to just have one slice of it. So you eat the slice. After you finish you want more but you can't have the entire cheesecake.

You keep staring at the cheesecake. You desire it so much. But there is nothing you can do about it.

It's been a while.

2008-12-28T00:14:00.000-08:00

A couple of months has passed since my last post. A lot has happened. I finally began my life as a soldier in the Korean Army. I had 5 weeks of basic military training - a process required to convert civilians to brave soldiers. Afterwards, I've been selected to become an M.P. (military police: the branch of an armed force assigned to perform law enforcement duties, as on a military installation). Therefore, I was transferred to recieve 5 weeks of M.P. education/training. Finally, after 10 weeks of training, I was assigned to carry out my duty as an M.P. in a small county called Hwa-Cheon (화천) situated at the very north of South Korea (it's very close to the border between North and South Korea). Hwa-Cheon is where I will be for the rest of my military service in South Korea.

I've been here for about three months now and I've had the opportunity to experience the extremely collective, hierarchical, and confucious elements of the Korean army. These three elements combined together creates a living condition that is extremely restricted and suppressed. I can't say that I'm happy right now. But I can say for sure that I am trying my best to hold on. To fight through these two years of my life. It's kind of like a hike. It's difficult and tiring but it's something that you need to overcome. And once you're finished with the hike, you get the sense of extreme satisfaction and self-achievement. That you made it through those two years without every giving up.

I wish I had more time to get into the tiny details of my life in the army but I don't have enough time. The only reason I'm able to write this post is because I'm currently out for a one day break. It's been a while since I had the freedom to eat what I want, to shit when I want to (pardon my language), to go wherever I want, and to say whatever I want. As my rank gradually moves up the ladder, I will have the luxury to use the computer freely - one of the weird tiny details about life in the Korean army. Every rank has its on restrictions and privileges. The more you move up the ladder the more privileges you get such as using the cleaners side of the bathroom, lying down and taking a rest, and so on.

Life here in the Korean army really is 'special'. And I'm so going to love experiencing all aspects of it. I miss family, friends, school, newyork, my life. I miss them so much.

Off to the Army

2008-07-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

A military enrollment form, digital watch clock, diary notebooks, bank card, t-money card, id, and two glasses are the only things I'm taking with me to the army. I'm finally going. Surprisingly, I don't feel anxious at all. In fact, I am excited to get the military service out of the way once in for all so that I can begin my life afterwards.

I hope that I could have access to the internet to give an update on my life in the army.

Date of Military Enrollment: August 5th, 2008
Date of Discharge from Military: June 19th, 2010

Shifting Core

2008-07-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

This is how I feel right now. Something is changing within me. The way I see the world, my life, my parents, my brother is shifting. Maybe this is called growing up? It feels like my core (a word that I use to describe my fundamental identity) is churning all over the place and shifting shapes. I'm still me. But a different version of me? An updated one? Oh dear, too many questions in my mind right now.

The Mechanical Foot in My Dream

2008-07-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

I've been having recurring dreams of a mechanical foot with a heart imprinted on the thigh. In the dream, a man with one normal leg and a mechanical foot runs on a cobblestone street in a city that I cannot recognize.

I drew an illustration of the foot knowing that I had poor drawing skills. But the picture basically gives you the gist of what I've dreamt about.

When I told Matt about my dream, he immediately came up with an amazing interpretation (he's a genius!). Legs are used for walking, to walk on a path in which leads to a journey in life. So the mechanical foot suggests that the man is walking a path that is not necessarily his own. The mechanical foot is something that has been made by another person other than himself. In this case, the foot resembles my mechanical walk to the Korean army. A path that has been chosen, not by me, but by the government.

On the other hand, the fact that the man still has one normal leg means that the path that I am taking is still mine. In a way, going to the army is my choice. I could have chose to never return to Korea and stay in New York. But I came back to fulfill my military obligation. Since this is my my choice, I am going to try my best to not regret the experience. And this is probably what the heart stands for. A sign of hope and something worthwhile that is to come from embracing this particular mechanical foot. :)

Army Date is Approaching...

2008-07-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

Usually I wouldn't keep track of of dates. But for the past few weeks, I couldn't stop myself from looking at the date on the top-right corner of my macbook. For each day that passes by, I get more anxious about going to the army (d-day: 08/05/08). I try not to think about it but the more anxious I get the more I think about it. It's a vicious cycle.

Not that I actually want to go but I at least thought I would be okay about going to the army. It's something that all Korean boys need to do, kind of like a rite of passage. Whether I like it or not, I have to go. And since I have no choice, I've been trying my best to shift my hopeless attitude. If I am going to the army, I might as well make the best out of it. However, that is easier said than done.

I feel like my freedom is being taken away temporarily. For twenty-two months in the military I will be doing things that I probably won't have any passion for and follow orders that does not come from me but from my military superiors. The thought of me not being allowed to be me in the military makes it a whole lot depressing. Maybe I'm thinking too much about the army. Maybe this will be an opportunity for me to really grow and get some sort of a perspective in my life. I hope that is the case.

All I know for now is that my mind is already at June 2010 (the month that I get out of the army) but my physical body is stuck here at the present moment. My task now is to drag that mind back to the present so that I can live life as it is in the present and not be blinded by constantly thinking about the future.

U.S. Beef Says "I'm Delicious". And I say YES you are.

2008-07-09T23:45:00.000-07:00

This is a poster that was on the wall of Kang Nam Station's bus stop. The message is very clear and clever.

I don't want to say who is right or wrong in the current U.S. Beef protest in Korea. That is not important. What's important is that there is actually a significant amount of people who have a different position regarding U.S. Beef. And their voices need to be heard to acknowledge that there is a diversity of opinions regarding the beef issue.

superglue = falling in love?

2008-06-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

How instant is superglue?

Very instant. It takes less than a second.

On the bus-ride back towards home from my internship at MBC (Munhwa Broadcasting Corp.), I was busy attempting to reattach my fragmented earphone with a superglue that I bought from a nearby Seven Eleven. Luckily, the earphone was still working. I just had to glue the broken pieces together.

Normally I would have bought a new one becuase I'm lazy. But I've already broken and lost so many that I didn't want to spend yet another $35 on an earphone. I had this baby for about a year. That's the longest I've ever maintained an earphone in perfect condition. I wasn't about to give up on it.

To proceed with the earphone operation, I first popped the superglue lid with a sharp needle. But then suddenly I sensed something sticky. The glue material was dripping on my fingers. Before the glue was about to become permanent, I quickly separated my fingers apart from each other. My fingers were safe.

Now, I just had to deal with removing the solidified glue material on the surface of my fingers. For the rest of the bus ride, I was busy scratching the gluey stuff off. I'm glad that I was quick enough to prevent my fingers from being attached together. Having to deal with permanently attached fingers would have been very unfortunate.

After the whole glue incident, I randomly started thinking about love at first sight. It seems that the time it took for the glue to solidify after its initial exposure to the air was similar to that of the time it took for two people to fall in love. Whether it's love at first sight or falling in love at a certain point in a relationship, the moment when our mind and emotion crosses over to the land of love is as instant as superglue. And like superglue, we get permanently attached to each other. We may not know when this crossover actually occurs but it happens without any notice.

The bond that is created is almost impossible to pull apart. It would require a lot of work and patience to fully detach yourself from the love that glued you to your lover. There would be a lot of scratching to do to scrape off all that love. Once everything is removed, you will still remember the love and the scar that it had left.

So before that sticky love becomes permanent be wise enough to either snap out of it or let it be. Because once you're in, you're in it for all the ups and downs that comes with love.

Hyo-do (효도): to be dutiful to one's parents

2008-06-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

In my family, I would usually have the choice of what to eat for the day. That's because I'm usually back in Seoul for a short period of time. So before I leave, mom cooks me anything I want. It's nice to have such a privilege. But I realized that I was being a bit selfish. For all this time, they were eating what I preferred. I wasn't even thinking about whether they liked the food.

So I told them, “from now on, I will eat whatever you guys want to eat.” Turns out, they really wanted to eat seafood. I wanted to take back what I said.

Mom and Dad loves seafood. I, on the other hand, hate most seafood with a few exceptions (salmon, tuna, and mussels). I can recall the times when my parents were eating strange looking sea creatures sold at the local seafood market (click on the video to see what I'm talking about). I've tried tasting them many times but they always ended up back on the plate. However, I did taste the less icky ones and they tasted like nothing. I could only feel the texture of raw fish sliding against my tongue. How is it that my parents crave for such tasteless food?

I will probably never know. But I remained loyal to my initial decision. I wanted to show them my appreciation by comprimising my carnivorous diet. If they could go through a month without complaining about my love for meat, I should be able to do the same for their crave for seafood.

Adjusting to the needs of my parents is the way it's supposed to be in Korea. Parents' desire comes first and the children are supposed to fulfill it for them. In Korea we call this hyo-do (효도), which means filial piety or to be dutiful to one's parents.

In general, I agree with the notion of hyo-do. I agree that children should thank and appreciate their parents for loving them. That’s just common sense. And children should fulfill basic obligations towards their parents. After all, families are there to appreciate and help each other unconditionally.

On the other hand, hyo-do in terms of giving up your dreams to satisfy your parent’s desires is too extreme. We all have our separate paths to walk in life. If someone is preventing you from going forward, you might want to rethink the relationship you're in. However, if your parents are sick with something serious, that’s just something you have to deal with. You can’t just leave them alone when they are in desperate need of help. That’s just inhumane.

Fortunately, my parents views on hyo-do are in synch with mine. However, most Korean families still seem to maintain such irrational ideals of hyo-do. Maybe that’s why so many people in Korea are unhappy: because their parents keep them on a short leash.

About Me.

2008-06-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

Since I can't think of anything to begin with, I'll just start out with a cliched introduction of myself (my apologies). My name is Hoon. In Korean, my full name is supposed to mean something like: a person who guides people to their destiny. Just something random I wanted to include in this post.

Although I'm South Korean, I spent most of my life abroad - that pretty much kept me away from keeping in touch with my Korean-ness. When I was six, my family moved to Beijing. We stayed there for the next twelve years of my childhood. During that time I attended the International School of Beijing, an American school for expatriate families. After my highschool graduation in Beijing, I headed to NYC to study film&tv and journalism at New York University.

As I moved through my freshman and sophomore year, I became attached to the city. If moving to Beijing was a significant turning point in my life, coming to NYC was a life-changing experience. I plan on living here after my college graduation unless the work-visa situation does not work out. But really, I just want to live anywhere outside of South Korea.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those K.K.W.S.A. (Korean Kids Who Studied Abroad) that constantly bitch about South Korea... Well, that's not entirely true. I complain about South Korea non-stop. But, beneath all that bitching, I'm still happy about the fact that I'm South Korean. It's part of who I am and I'm fine with that. However, all the overseas living made me realize that I'm not just South Korean but also a bit of Chinese and American. Ultimately it all comes down to ME. Belonging to some country is just a fragment of who I am. I'm more than that, hopefully.

Right now, I'm back in Seoul for a special reason. I'm going to be serving in the South Korean army starting from August 5th 2008. All Korean boys are required to serve TWO YEARS in the army. This will be the first time for me to be staying in wonderful South Korea for more than just a school break.

The purpose of me writing this blog is to use these two years to re-examine my preconceived notions (mostly negative) of South Korea and hope to either confirm them or find them shattered with a new discovery.

I'm hoping that someday my pessimism towards South Korea may change. I'm a positive person and having all these negative feelings bottled up inside me doesn't do me any good.